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“Oh my God, he’s so desperate,” my friend said when she saw my screen. My friend, who lived strictly by the rule that you should not double text for fear of looking too “thirsty,” as the kids call it, was aghast. My now-boyfriend has been teased for “texting like a girl,” but it was immediately one of my favorite things about him.
I am an effusive texter, and in past relationships I would get frustrated when my multi-text theses would be answered with “yeah” or “sure.” I needed someone who was just as willing to give themselves carpal tunnel as I was.
“I don’t think my answers would be interesting,” he said.
“In our case, we weren't boyfriend/girlfriend, so I just had to take it in stride when the relationship became something that you clearly weren’t interested in pursuing.
After promising to buy drinks, I found four men who’d ghosted me who agreed to talk about why they decided to do it (including that aforementioned guy who worked in advertising). Oh, and pretty much everyone I spoke to asked for anonymity. He was taller and older than me, and he’d chosen a contemporary art museum for one of our dates (which seemed really sophisticated at the time), so I was pretty psyched about our potential relationship.One day, after a text I sent to him had gone unanswered for three days, I finally confided to a friend that I was concerned.MORE: Why Bumble Wants to Beat Tinder at Its Own Game And yet the importance of texting grows with each passing Valentine’s Day.As more and more couples meet online or through dating apps, texting has become not only a means of seduction, but also the foundation upon which a future might be built.